Lithuanian Fascion.

Everyone knows that the cutting edge of fashion isn’t in some haughty Parisian couture shop. It’s right here in the worlds track-jacket; Kaunas Lithuania, where Fashion comes to get that jew-free smell.

Understanding what is “steam”(Lithuanian for sizzlin’ nasty) and what is not can be swoon inducing. So I have painstakingly photographed over 5,000 Lithuanian men in various states of dress and carefully examined what lies beneath the seams.

Fascion File 1: “Ballin’ for Brezhnev 

Category: "Sunday's Best."

Lithuania is a Basketball champion and it shows in its citizenry.
You may be fooled, but this aids infected father of three is not
even from New York, but I assure you he knows its secret handshake.
With his reflective shine he declares his  readiness  for stoning the 
elderly at the Kaunas Milk Bar.
Appropriate Attire for: Church, Loitering, Thug Lyfe, Santa's Lap
Inappropriate Attire for: Basketball, Funeral Casket, KFC

 
Fascion File 2: Stalin for a Brawlin'

Category: "Snowflake"

If Lithuania had a History, this would be the modern equivalent worn in the black tie hob-knobs of years not past. This contemporary gentric three piece demonstrates clean cut uniformity while imbuing the wearer with the chivalric urge to break the nose of those who soil a womans dignity by wearing  kulak or even Polish skin. The Tuxedo version sports a coated black finish with golden stripes as pictured below. Some dandy dappers, presumably royalty, wear this version for everyday oustings.  

 The second installment to “Lithuanian Fascion” is is currently being worn! Look forward to a photo explosion of life on the street number #1 in my new “spring Lenin” digs!

One comment

  1. Don't worry about it · April 26, 2011

    Little did everyone know, Dexter has been a fan of Lithuanian fashion for years now. This is just another case of his self loathing tendencies.

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